The Longing to Be Free, Mumukshutva

The Longing to Be Free

An Exposition by Ben Williams

In our sojourn through the world, we sometimes become aware of a feeling that there is something more—more to being human, more potential to life—than we can currently grasp. This feeling may also be accompanied by an intuitive sense that even if we achieve all the conventional goals we have set for ourselves, this will not culminate in true fulfillment.

What is it, then, that we truly seek? We seek a happiness that doesn’t fade. We long for an inner freedom that is unwavering. This calling from within may be subtle, but it is significant. This feeling that there is more to life corresponds to a pure impulse to awaken to the vastness, the boundlessness, of our own true nature.

The Siddhas who expound the philosophy of Shaivism say that this longing is inherent to Consciousness itself. They teach that the moment all-pervasive Consciousness decides to create, it freely relinquishes its freedom and plenitude in order to enact the drama of this universe. In this way, Consciousness, just like an actor, freely assumes the role of the individual soul. Through all of its cycles of birth and rebirth, the soul carries the memory of its true nature as expansive and blissful Consciousness, secretly embedded deep within the heart. When this memory of our own infinite nature awakens, we become impelled to regain the pristine freedom and expansive joy that underlies and animates all of life, that wondrous Awareness in which everything is united.

The turning point is when we become conscious of this intrinsic yearning, which is itself a spark of that which we yearn for. The Sanskrit term for this inner calling is mumukutva, the ardent desire for liberation, the longing to know the Truth.

The Crest-Jewel of Discrimination, one of the most concise and penetrating works on Vedānta philosophy ascribed to Śrī Śaṅkarācārya, teaches:

दुर्लभं त्रयं एवैतद् देवानुग्रहहेतुकम् |
मनुष्यत्वं मुमुक्षुत्वं महापुरुषसंश्रयः ‖

durlabhaṁ trayam evaitad devānugrahahetukam |
manuṣyatvaṁ mumukṣutvaṁ mahāpuruṣasaṁśrayaḥ

These three things are exceptionally rare and result from God’s grace: a human birth, the longing for liberation, and the refuge of a great being.1

In the philosophical traditions of India, a human birth is considered a rare and immeasurable gift because human beings have the capacity to awaken to the unbounded freedom of Consciousness. And becoming aware of this longing for freedom represents a major turning point in a human life. Added to these two incalculable blessings, then, is the paramount act of divine grace through which we encounter, and ultimately take refuge in, a true Guru. For such a fully realized Master, a sadguru, is empowered to bestow the extraordinary gift of divine initiation, śaktipāt-dīkṣā.

Śaktipāt-dīkṣā directly awakens the divine energy, Kuṇḍalinī Śakti, which then unfolds through our spiritual discipline under the grace and protection of the Master. This unfolding—or expansion—of our inner power quickens the longing for liberation and accelerates our progress on the path. In this way, the spiritual seeker gradually becomes ripe—ready to attain perfect knowledge of the Self.

The teachings of the great Siddhas continually extol the importance of recognizing this longing. In Gurumayi’s own words:

Mumukshutva is the determination to attain liberation. It is this burning desire that makes a person seek the Truth. Such a person is called a mumukshu, one who is willing to sacrifice himself in order to know the greater power within, to acquire divine knowledge.

A true mumukshu wants to break through all the barriers that keep him chained to his own limitations. With a longing for freedom that can never be forgotten, he is determined to become one with the Truth. So even a tinge of ego is painful to him. Tirelessly, a mumukshu seeks to abandon himself to the will of God.

Be a mumukshu: yearn with your whole heart to become one with the great Truth.2

The awareness of being a mumuku is a sign that our sādhanā is naturally unfolding, that our spiritual discipline is coming to fruition. Although this longing can be experienced in varying degrees and in different forms, it often manifests as an inner resolution to break free of the barriers that limit us and to live wisely, compassionately, fearlessly, and from a place of great freedom. A pure-hearted dedication to liberation establishes a true north, which puts the broad spectrum of our disparate motivations into context and shines a light on those places in ourselves that are out of alignment with this goal.

How can this longing be cultivated? The resolve to become free can manifest as the desire to dedicate oneself to the spiritual practices that lead to freedom. We acquire great interest in meditation, we develop a taste for the sweetness of chanting the divine name, and we happily take up the repetition of mantra. We ply ourselves to the study of the illumined words of the knowers of the Truth and to having the darśan of great beings. We reflect deeply on our life experience and rediscover our genuine worthiness. Rather than shrinking from life, we understand that freedom is found in our ability to acknowledge Consciousness in everything that arises, to learn from each situation; doing so emboldens us. We realize that by facing and moving through life’s difficulties, we are able to expand our experience of freedom. In various ways we eagerly engage in that which brings us closer to satsang, inner communion with that which is Real.

The journey of becoming established in the recognition of our own divinity demands effort, courage, and, as Gurumayi mentions, sacrifice. The force of this longing for freedom is, however, joyous and generates an exhilarating sense of infinite possibility. As mumukutva expands in our heart, we develop true fortitude. The bold impulse to be free, in and of itself, acts as a source of strength.

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 1  Vivekacūḍāmaṇi 3; English translation © 2018 SYDA Foundation.
 2 Swami Muktananda and Swami Chidvilasananda, Resonate with Stillness: Daily Contemplations, (South Fallsburg, NY: SYDA Foundation, 1995), May 4.

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    After reading this exposition, questions arose in my mind: Do I really have the longing to be free? How strong is this longing? How will it increase? As I read the exposition several times, I noticed that I was getting the answers to my questions, and new perceptions arose.

    Nashik, India

    For the last twenty-one years, I’ve been reciting Shri Guru Gita every morning. More recently I have added other text chants to my daily routine as well. During my tasks such as gardening, driving, walking with my wife, cooking, mowing the lawn, I do japa rather than thinking unnecessary thoughts. I feel my happiness and contentment increasing with each passing day. Until I read this exposition, I did not know that what is driving me forward has a name: mumukshutva! I like the sound of that.

    California, United States

    The truth in these words stirs a blissful fire inside me. When I received the Guru’s grace, I felt, for the first time, that I had found my true north.

    Over the thirty-seven years I have been following the Siddha Yoga path, my life has become increasingly imbued with a refined, pure contentment as my thoughts and actions have come into alignment with my soul’s purest yearning—to know the Self.

    Maryland, United States

    After reading this exposition on “The Longing to Be Free,” I felt an impulse to meditate by the river in the woods. As the sweet song of birds faded into the back of my mind, I felt a deep yearning to be in the presence of my Guru.

    Naturally my mind traveled to Ganeshpuri. I felt Bhagavan Nityananda’s presence around me, and I felt Gurumayi’s presence within. I repeated inwardly: I am the truth, I am the light, I am the Self, I am Consciousness and bliss, my body is your temple.

    I felt every word reverberating in the core of my being. My longing to be in the presence of my Lord was so tangible that I felt I had become the Lord. I felt one with my Guru and all life forms around me. I felt liberated.

    St Adèle, Canada

    I give thanks at this point in my life to have the freedom to engage in my spiritual practices, guided by the teachings of the Siddha Yoga path. I am so grateful to feel my heart aligned with others who also feel the recognition of mumukshutva in themselves, and to have access to the great teachings of those who have led the way forward through their embodied example.

    St. Lazare, Canada

    After reading this exposition, I’ve been reflecting on what supports me in order to stay on the path to liberation. I do so by contemplating the teachings on the Siddha Yoga path website and by performing my daily and weekly spiritual practices. These disciplines give me happiness and nourish my other activities.

    Over the years, I have noticed that my detachment, discernment, and understanding are evolving. I am able to let go of old habits which don’t support my goal while welcoming new ones that bring about balance and harmony. With a constantly renewed awareness, I continue to find life enjoyable and engaging, and I keep enthusiasm in my heart.

    Rodez, France

    When I was twelve years old, questions about the nature of reality and the purpose of this human birth became more important to me. Over the following eighteen months, my questioning turned to longing. I would dialogue with God, begging to be sent a teacher, or to have the longing taken away.

    When I was fourteen, my mom went to a Siddha Yoga satsang for the first time. A few days later, a Siddha Yogi was over at our house, and my mom asked him to sing the chant from that week’s satsang.

    I was standing in our living room, looking outside. As Mere Baba Muktananda filled the room, walls around my heart, which I didn’t even know existed, fractured and melted away. The world in front of me became translucent, backlit by a radiance filled with joy. Tears rolled down my checks, and I knew not why. One thought kept repeating, “It’s so beautiful.” It was a giant step forward in my journey toward the truth of who I am and the purpose of existence. I am forever grateful for my longing for liberation, and the answer to that longing. 

    Pennsylvania, United States

    I was ecstatic to read this exposition last night! I have been praying each day to be a mumukshu since first reading Gurumayi’s teachings about such a person. Gurumayi’s teaching that “even a tinge of ego is painful” to a mumukshu keeps me vigilant in moments when my ego wants to relish a rush of contracted energy. Instead of giving in to this impulse, I take the support of Gurumayi’s words and realize that what once felt pleasurable is now holding me back from liberation. Consequently, I am increasingly able to watch the “tinge of ego” from a safe distance and let the energy merge into the fire of yoga.

    Connecticut, United States

    I am grateful for this exposition on mumukshutva, for Gurumayi’s words to “be a mumukshu,” and for her wishes and grace that we all attain this state of longing and eventually the final awareness of our oneness with the Self. I also feel motivated to contemplate what being a mumukshu means for me, how that longing would begin to express itself in me, and what practices would bring me to that state.

    Maryland, United States

    For me, mumukshutva is a force at once soft and benevolent, yet so powerful. This longing feels like such a purifying force; it arises from within my heart and quiets my whole being. As soon as I place my attention on it, the Guru’s enlivened mantra arises spontaneously within me, and the image that comes to mind is that of a candle flame burning silently and steadily in the cave of my heart.

    Castlemaine, Australia

    As I first thought about this exposition, I realized I loved the sound of the word mumukshutva. It felt so playful to me. Then, I thought I’d love to be a true mumukshu. Next, I gave more time to reading the exposition, and was surprised to find myself crying tears of recognition as I read, “Through all of its cycles of birth and rebirth, the soul carries the memory of its true nature as expansive and blissful Consciousness, secretly embedded deep within the heart.” Putting this all together, I feel a recognition growing in me of how important this topic is for me right now. It occurs to me that being a mumukshu could actually be a lot of fun. I could let go of my burdens and see everything as the play of Consciousness. I could embrace the lighthearted part of my nature. Even thinking about this, I feel more open—lighter!

    Kentucky, United States

    As I contemplated this beautiful exposition, I realized how fortunate I am to have “a human birth, the longing for liberation, and the refuge of a great being,” our beloved Gurumayi. Further reflection showed me that sometimes I lack the “burning” longing that Gurumayi speaks of. To cultivate this longing, I am resolved to follow the suggestions in the exposition and make the right effort to enhance my daily sadhana with courage and sacrifice. 

    I pray to have the strength to follow Gurumayi’s command to “be a mumukshu” in the true sense of the word, and become liberated in this very lifetime.

    Udaipur, India

    Even the title of this exposition caught me by the heart. And each sentence produced an assent within my heart, taking me closer and closer to the very yearning the author describes. But reading that “a pure-hearted dedication to liberation establishes a true north” was the turning point in my understanding.
     
    Gurumayi’s teaching “be a mumukshu” inspires me to practice her words as both an affirmation and a mantra as I continue my ascent towards that yearning.

    New Jersey, United States

    The word “sacrifice” in this exposition leapt out at me. I paused and considered its meaning for me, and realized it was anything and everything that keeps me small, and it needs to be released in exchange for freedom. 
     
    I feel that mumukshutva is my reason for living. And every effort I make to maintain this focus feels not like a sacrifice, but a grace-filled gift.
     
    Gurumayi’s encouragement to “be a mumukshu” has taken permanent residence in my heart. I pray for it to come to full fruition in my being and in the hearts of all those who long for true freedom.

    West Vancouver, Canada